Remembering Pee Wee Herman, Cheech & Chong While Eating A New York Sirloin MAR. 13, 2014 By BRIAN MCELMURRY
Thought Catalog published an essay of mine! And my Ebook with them has gone from amazon ranked 1.2 millionth to the #150,647!!! I may have sold some books! Yeah :-)
I’m waiting for the bus, and my skin is itching because I haven’t been putting on lotion, even when my skin gets dry.
Having low self esteem, I often think people disapprove of me, or don’t even regard me, though I successfully ‘fooled’ myself for years into thinking I did have self esteem by telling jokes and making people laugh and talk about themselves, but I have recently realized I do have low self esteem.
I’m on the bus now and the morning sun is low over downtown like a cereal commercial, where its simultaneously Disney fantasy beauty but where my body wants to sleep forever.
I smelled a gas station flavored coffee and remember painting my dead grandparents condo in the desert when I was 19 with my brother, the bottom of the desert side of the mountain where the road meets Palm Springs and the wild flowers (huge wild spring flowers there; tourist trade for the old) grow and they filmed the beginning of the movie It’s a Mad, Mad World from the 60’s there on the steep windy road, coming down from Mt. San Jacinto, coming from Temecula, coming from bourgeois conservative suburbia.
I’m in Denver now and wake in the middle of the night for 2 hours often, or have repetitive dreams of compulsive thoughts, still on the bus, lower downtown, going to work and its Tuesday.
pjgoring asked: ANYTHING <3
I’m a puppy parent. It is like being a human parent, but you can party with your puppy. Harness the little guy up and take him with you to your buddies to get loaded. Grooming a dog is slightly more expensive than a child, but most other costs aren’t exorbitant. We just washed him in the sink like you would a baby. With sweet talk. His name is Franklyn and he weighs 8.4 pounds. He’s half Yorkie and half Bichon (the white curly haired French 19th century ‘circus dog’), the mix called Yoshon. I have only seen one Yoshon in real life, Franklyn. The Bichon gives Franklyn mountain-goat hop and a charisma to perform. At training at Pet Smart, the trainer will refer to Franklyn as a “pimp” or “little pimp” at least four times. He loves other dogs, especially big dogs, like our neighbors dogs, lab mixes and an Australian Shepard. Franklyn is the only little dog in the intermediate class. While walking Franklyn, I had him heal and stay on a busy corner intersection of two major streets. He also sat and stayed while under prey of my buddies cat named ‘dab’, and kept looking over his shoulder as the cat hunted him and he jumped in my lap, only once attacked. I was proud. I often take him in stores under my arm like a football (American), and do my business. I did it 5 times yesterday. In the pharmacy he calmly sat on my lap and ate the treat the pharmacist gave him and looked at people. Sometimes people look at me odd, holding a dog in a grocery store, or coffee shop, or Mexican restaurant, but I have gotten used to it as the little perito calmly waits for me to get my groceries and pay at the self pay out, one handed. He loves to go on walks, adventures. He’s graduating today from his intermediate class and we washed him because he had a dingle berry.
From Raymond Carver’s OKCupid Profile, Edited by Gordon Lish by Jimmy Chen, via The Rumpus
Jimmy Chen is my favorite Internet writer. He’s the best. Srsly.